From dating to a relationship
I’m not judging – I can see how easy it is to get into that situation.
This is also about the time when one zillion questions start bubbling around in your brain about your relationship status:"What are we doing? But when a relationship is still starting out, and you aren't quite sure where you stand, there are certain little things that can give you a clue that yes, it's the real thing.
It starts with a toothbrush (which honestly I think any nice person should have on hand to offer, even at the first sleepover) and eventually turns into a contact lens case, a full beauty regiment and finally, a drawer.
We can be in touch with our potential paramours all the time – via texts, on Facebook, on email – and this constant contact can be misleading – giving us the impression that we’re embroiled in something much more meaningful than we really are. My reasoning being that if someone doesn’t feel strongly enough about me after a couple of months, then they’re never going to feel strongly enough for me to spend time and energy on them.
But the fact is – and this is something I’ve had to learn the hard way – if one of you isn’t calling it a relationship, Then. Yes, I could hang around, try and coax them into it, or just generally refuse to go away until it becomes easier for them to give in – but who wants to do that?
“We never had ‘the talk,’” they may say as a defense.
It's a confusing time in dating, where social media and technology (texts and Facebook messages) have overtaken good old-fashioned courting and wooing someone over.
You think you’re exclusive, then realize he/she is still swiping right on Hinge and Tinder.You also no longer flirt with your hot coffee barista or want to go bar-hopping with friends in hopes of meeting someone, for you’ve already found them. (I am not suggesting this as a way to someone's heart and exclusivity, though.Then, you are just crazy and trying too hard, Leaving things behind usually happens naturally and is not forced.)At the beginning of dating someone new, we’re on our ultra-best behavior.And have stopped regularly stalking your ex, his new girlfriend, and all of their friends on social media — because your new partner is the only one you care about.Invariably if the person I’m speaking to has been single at any point in the last decade, then yes, they know exactly what I mean, because if there’s one scenario that’s become endemic amongst myself and my peers, it’s our inability to define a relationship after the first five or six dates. Is it too soon to refer to someone as your boyfriend? If you’ve been on 12 dates with someone, you really don’t still want to be seeing other people do you?I don’t want to come across as some relationship-obsessed harpy and I’m sure once we’ve been seeing each other for long enough he’ll come round – we’re in a relationship in all but name anyway.” I slightly want to bang my head against the keyboard now, not least because I’ve said the same thing more than once in the past.